Go ahead, tell me you weren’t trying to name every one of those logos while watching the video…
Warning: This is a snarky opinion piece. If you would rather not be offended by the fact that I’m not offended, but am offended that you are; well then, this article probably isn’t for you. And I don’t care, but just know that you’ve been warned.
Apple has a sex problem.
No, not an Ashley Madison type of sex problem. Not even a “mom found my stash of porno mags under the bed” type of problem. More of a “he-said, why didn’t she-said” type of problem. Apparently, it also has a race problem. Hell, Apple is just one giant problem… if you believe the Internet, that is.
Apple had barely completed yesterday’s “Hey Siri” event, arguably one of their largest product release events in recent history, when the Internet had one of its all-to-frequent It’s My Turn To Be Offended, Dammit! pile-ons. The sheer stupidity and linkbaitedness of the accusations made in the articles are so thick you can choke on them. And I nearly did.
The Verge posted this pathetic puddle of baboon piss about what I’ll call SmileGate. Apple invited representatives of Adobe to come on stage and demo their software’s image retouching power. And that was their big, huge, massive mistake.
Unfortunately, Adobe chose two men to bring a scantily-clad woman on stage, slap her ass and tell her what nice tits she had.
Wait. That’s not quite accurate. Maybe they just had a photo of a woman, and used the software to make her red lipstick a little bit redder, and turn up the corners of her mouth to make her appear to be slightly smiling.
The horror. I mean… can you believe the audacity of Adobe to pull this kind of disgusting behavior toward women?
And the world blames Apple.
Not to be outdone, NextWeb decided to re-puke the previously mentioned article and add more semi-digested chunks to it.
Apparently, Apple hates African Americans, Native Indians, Jews, Italians, Armenians, Hungarians, Arabs, and Polacks. And Australians. And anyone from Alaska. And they still hate women of any race, just not quite as much as they used to.
According to the potato sack who wrote that piece of drivel, Apple needs to have one member of every race on Earth speak for at least 45 seconds at every Apple event, just to show that Apple is a company by the people, for the people… or something like that. I don’t know.
I have an image in my mind of Tim Cook in a sweat-soaked blue shirt, skipping and hopping around on stage while clapping and screaming DIVERSITY. DIVERSITY. DIVERSITY. DIVERSITY. Of course, people would probably be offended by the blatant gimmick copying:
And then the entire frigging Internet pooped out Tweets and links to the same or similar articles. Because you know, nobody wants to be left out. I dunno. The race to the bottom of the ‘It’s My Turn To Be Offended’ barrel on the Internet is getting quite tired.
No matter what Apple does here, some people are going to find a way to be butt-hurt about it. If Apple had filled the entire keynote with female employees speaking about all the products, their would surely be a gaggle of loudmouths accusing Apple of conspiring to put one over on us, or ‘play to the crowd’ too much. One more African American, one more Asian, one more of any race, and the same people would probably sport their Confederate flag shirts and hold up signs that read ‘MERICA!
The world has a diversity problem, and it appears that if I wish to fit in with the hip crowd, I must blame Apple.
By now you’ve heard the news that Mozilla is finally in testing phase with Firefox for iOS. And you may have noticed that AdBlock (the popular desktop browser extensions) is releasing their own AdBlock Browser as well. Google has Chrome for iOS, and I believe iCab still has a heartbeat.
I have to wonder though, why bother? Until you can change the default browser on iOS; something Apple isn’t likely to allow any time soon, you WILL be using Safari at least once per day whether you want to or not. Simply because nobody is going to want to copy/paste URLs from email or text message just so they can be viewed in a browser other than mobile Safari. And let’s face it, Safari on iOS is a pretty damn good browser experience for 99% of users.
So I’m back to wondering what the ‘end-game’ is for companies that make web browsers for iOS. Why bother?
Not wanting to be outdone by Google and Verizon refreshing their long-standing logo designs, an anonymous reader (who works as the chief design officer of Samsung marketing) sent in this leaked image of Samsung’s new logo.
I dunno… there’s something about it that I can’t quite put my finger on…
*I suppose this could be fake 😉
The Swiss know watches. And Golden Dreams knows how to make the Apple Watch Edition better looking than Apple does. Open the full size image above in a new window to get a closer look at the beauty! And did I mention it costs less, too?
You can order the 42mm Apple Watch (pictured above) in 24ct yellow gold, beautifully hand-engraved in Geneva, with a lucious black alligator (ostrich, shark, and a few other choice skins are also available) band for the cool price of around $9,900 U.S. That’s around a $6,000 savings off a comparable model bought directly for Apple—except you can’t get hand engraved designs or 24ct gold directly from Apple.
If all you want is a nice alligator skin band, you can save a few bucks and only pay around $700 U.S. Blue ostrich skin is even less.
Don’t even get me started on what Golden Dreams can do with an iPhone… They don’t list a price for the “Masterpiece” collections, so I can only assume it’s out of my spare-change-range.
And since you surely would want to carry one of these iPhone’s in a case, you can grab a Python skin case for a mere $800-ish.
Betteridge’s Law of Headlines most likely applies on an article titled “Will we see the Apple Electric Vehicle on September 9?” IF Apple is building a car, I would guess it’s years away from release. And no matter how secretive Apple is, there’s just no way to keep all the people involved in building a car quiet. There are just too many outside vendors to deal with. We would have hear lots of more specific rumors and details by now.
No. I’m sorry. That is just one analyst trying to come down off his cinnamon high.
A post I made in 2010 titled Stuff that ticked me off last week, popped up on my radar this morning. I went back and read it. Sadly, while a few details have changed, for the most part everything has stayed the same.
Stuart Hall offers an interesting look at the colors of app icons on iOS and the Mac in this article. Blue, by far, is the most popular color; but if you want to stand out from the crowd, purple is probably the coolest color to go with! I’m actually surprised at how few apps use the pink/purple hues.
Great article! The days of a logo design NEEDING to work in black & white are long-gone. That being said, a great logo design WILL work in black & white—perhaps with a little modification. So if your logo doesn’t work in black and white, perhaps you should re-think it.
While the linked article goes against my advice on creating a logo you can live with and still get paid, I still stand behind what I wrote back in 2008.
The assault on human interaction continues…