Details are sketchy, but we got our hands on one copy of the new Microsoft TV Dinner, expected to ship any day now. An unboxing video isn’t available, but the only thing inside beside the dinner was an instruction sheet containing the following:
- Microsoft released single user dinners to developers two years ago for testing, however we have determined that you will prefer to eat more. All future releases of Microsoft TV Dinners will be available in XXL and family sizes only.
- If you do not like turkey dinner, call Microsoft Help Line to be convinced that you don’t like any other type of dinner, and turkey is all you need.
- Microsoft has announced that every Microsoft TV Dinner will ship with a free dessert. However, desserts are still in taste-testing and will ship at a later time.
- Developers and taste testers have complained about the many empty compartments in the Microsoft TV Dinner tray. Empty compartments are for future menu items which will ship some time in the future. For now, turkey is all you need.
- Microsoft TV Dinners are not compatible with any other TV Dinner in your freezer. Storing Microsoft TV Dinners with TV Dinners from other manufacturers may cause your freezer to unexpectedly quit. If this happens, call the Microsoft Help Line.
- If you have a Microsoft Microwave Oven, remove the plastic cover, insert the dinner into the oven, run the start command by entering: mstv.dinn.//45.6min@32%heat//autostir/set05min// Then hit the Control + Alt + Delete keys and enter your Windows Live username and password.
- If you have a Macintosh-based microwave oven, remove the plastic cover and push start. If your Microsoft TV Dinner does not cook as you expect, call the Microsoft Help Line for a list of Microsoft Microwave Oven dealers near you.
- If your Microsoft Microwave Oven crashes while cooking your Microsoft TV Dinner, repeat step 6, or call the Microsoft Help Line.
- Microsoft is aware that the Microsoft TV Dinner tray may be too large for your Microsoft Microwave Oven, in which case you should upgrade to the latest version of the Microsoft Microwave Oven.
- By opening the box of your Microsoft TV Dinner and reading these instructions, you agree to accept the ULA and grant Microsoft rights too all TV dinners you purchase in the future.
- You may not give anyone else a taste of your Microsoft TV Dinner. Doing so breaks the ULA you agreed to when opening the package. You are permitted to allow others to browse and smell your Microsoft TV Dinner only after you accept the ULA.
We will post more when more details are available.