Tagged: rant

Dear Apple: Seriously???

I have a pretty darn fast Internet connection. Much faster than any streaming video service requires, and plenty fast enough for me to download large files with little eye-rolling and finger-tapping. But the thought of updating my iPhone makes me cringe.

When Apple pushes an update to iOS, you have two miserable choices.

Miserable choice #1:
You can render your phone completely useless for as long as it takes to download the OTA (over the air) update, unpack/prepare, install and restart your iPhone. The annoyance is compounded by the fact that you must keep the phone from “sleeping” while the update downloads, otherwise it just stalls. So you basically have to sit there like a jackass flicking the screen every minute or so to keep it active. Unless you have a death-wish, you definitely don’t want to do this while driving.

Miserable choice #2:
You can render your entire home network useless for hours by downloading an enormous iOS installer. It’s like downloading the entire OS just to get the updated components. Everyone in the house will hate you, because your Internet service slows to a crawl while you download what appears to be something the size of the entire Amazon video library just so your Apple Music app gets improved playlists, old photographs stop showing up in Photos app as new every time you connect your iPhone to your Mac, and your Email app works the way it should have to begin with.

iOS updates

…And as is always the case…
I decided to update to iOS 9.2 this morning. At 4am, to be exact. Nobody in my neighborhood is awake, so there is no internet traffic from other users in the local pipe. I made sure no other downloads of any kind were occurring. I decided to ‘download only’ the iOS update via iTunes on my Mac. The 2GB file download offers me the wonderful news that it might be finished downloading by the time I get home from work tonight. That doesn’t include actual install time.

So I decide to go the ‘quick’ route by doing the OTA download. A much smaller file, my iPhone claimed it only need ‘about 15 minutes’ to update. So after 40 minutes of downloading, another 15 or so minutes of updating, and 5 or so minutes of excruciatingly slow restarting, my phone is finally ready to use again.

In contrast, I downloaded and installed the entire Mac operating system from scratch in less time than it takes to do a run-of-the-mill iOS update. And I didn’t have to sit there and babysit the download—–as the Mac is smart enough to not fall asleep while downloading/installing.

Seriously, Apple. FIX THIS SHIT!

Rant: Shut the f#ck up about iOS widgets already, and everything else, too!

I don’t think I’ve posted a rant here at The Graphic Mac in a long time, but this past week I was reading a few iOS-related articles, and the subsequent comments by readers, and was carpet bombed with stupid frigging comments that have forced me to go off.

The one thing in common with most articles and their comments are the basement-dwelling booger eaters that feel compelled to compare the lack of [insert some stupid god damn feature here] on iOS that has been available on Android for years.

iOS Notification widgets

One of the topics always seems to be Apple and its ‘walled-garden’ approach to not allowing you to cure freaking cancer and run Adobe Photoshop in the Notification Center with a widget. Apparently, Android users simply must have the god damn train schedule for every subway system in the country show up in Notification Center or they’ll simply get lost going from the basement of mom’s house to the bagel shop 3-door down on the right. Heard enough? Too bad, here’s more (more…)

Rant: Mockups, leaks and delays… STFU!

A “mockup” cannot be leaked. In order to be a leak, the item in question must actually be real (from the company that actually makes the item) – not a computer generated or plastic molded concept image. A mockup is generally created for the specific intent of sharing with other people.

The RockAnd while we’re on the subject of bullshit headlines used by every blog looking for page views, a product cannot be delayed if a date for its release has not been given by the company that makes the product.

And, you don’t need an analyst’s supply chain check to tell you that Apple will almost always announce a new iPhone every September. It amazes me how many sites manages to publish articles that use 200-500 words, quoting “analysts” and the ever popular “anonymous source,” to tell you what everyone already knows.

Since I’m off on a rant here, allow me to lay a digital smack-down on sites that offer a list of 10 things Apple MUST add to the next iPhone. Without exception, every one of these stupid articles list at least eight things that nobody but the biggest tech nerd gives a crap about.

I’d like to hire The Rock to lay a real-life smack-down on all their candy asses!

Photo by Matt Brink.

Rant: Shut the hell up already, you whiney little spoiled jerks

Over the course of the last year, the tech blogosphere has been a non-stop siege of iPhone 5 discussion. When Apple finally announced it a few weeks ago, I had hoped it would go away quickly. But no, thanks to the stupid Maps app and Lightning connector, it’s hanging around like a lonely hung-over friend after a Christmas party.

You can’t go to a single tech site without reading the same crap about Apple, the iPhone 5, iOS 6, Maps app, and the Lightning connector. I’ve actually been avoiding even launching my web browser for the last week as much as possible because I’ve grown so tired of it. So what happened this morning? I see an article from BGR.com titled “Apple working on wireless solution to the annoying 30-pin adapter problem.”

I should have just moved on right there, but instead I thought I would subject myself to a little self-inflicted misery by clicking the link. The first sentence in the article was enough to push me over the frigging edge. Are you ready? This is mind-blowing stuff. (more…)

16 reasons NOT to buy a new iPad: As written by a complete douchenozzle at ZDNet

Everyone in the blogosphere knows that simply putting the word iPad in your headline will get your article a dumptruck full of pageviews, but the latest article from some douchebag at ZDNet just takes the cake. I apologize in advance for the language.

I’m not even going to link to the article, because quite frankly it doesn’t deserve even a single pageview this site might send it. Instead, I’ll offer some quick commentary on this dipshit’s list of reasons not to buy a new iPad. It should also be noted that at the end of this stupid piece of crap article the author admits he has never seen the new iPad, but has ordered one so as to ensure his journalistic integrity.

Reason 1: You already have an iPad

Well no shit, Sherlock. I don’t buy a new house or car when I already have one either. Why is this an iPad-specific problem? (more…)

Dear Adobe: Why I won’t upgrade to the latest Creative Suite 5

No CS5With the recent announcement of Creative Suite 5 by Adobe this past week, and the subsequent complaining that always seems to accompany such an announcement, I thought I would type-up a quick complaint letter that interested people can copy & paste into an email and send off to Adobe. Perhaps if those of you who aren’t happy with the direction Adobe is going in send this letter to them, they’ll completely toss 20+ years of successful software into the bin and start over from scratch!

Dear Adobe,

I’ve been a long-time user of Adobe products, and I feel like you’re not listening to all your users with this latest release of Creative Suite 5. I’ve outlined the reasons that I, your most valuable customer, will not be upgrading my single copy of Creative Suite Premium of CS1 I got off Limewire, because it runs just fine.

First of all, I think it’s pretty damn stupid of you to leave all us non-Intel Mac users out in the cold. I purchased a G4 about 10 years ago and don’t see any reason why I should upgrade my hardware just so I can run your new software. You clearly don’t care about your most important customer.

But that’s enough about hardware that you have no control of… let’s move on to your software.

Rant: Internet assholes and how to spot one

The Expert:


The Expert

The number one way to spot an Internet @$$hole (referred to in the rest of this article as I.A.s) is to look on the potential turd-burglar’s Twitter page in the Bio section. If you see the word “expert” or “S.E.O.” or my favorite “S.E.O. Expert,” you have struck gold. You’ve come across the highest order of I.A. there is. If you follow them, drop them. If they follow you, block them. But for cryin’ out loud, don’t engage them – you’re just feeding wild animals that will eventually knock over your trash can and spill your garbage all over the driveway! Keep reading. There’s plenty more I.A.s out there to learn about.

Rant: OSX menubar madness

It’s been a while since I’ve gone off on a rant, but I couldn’t hold this one in any longer because it’s driving me absolutely freakin’ crazy! What the hell is with the OSX menubar? Why does it suck so badly?

I have a host of apps that I use on a regular basis, and they offer menubar apps/icons to make it easier to work with. The problem is, the damn things are ugly, and I can’t configure the order in which they appear. Adding to my frustration is the fact that the load order appears to change on a whim every time I log-in or restart. Thus, my menubar madness rant… (more…)

Rant: Logo-Instant, free Web 2.0 logos

Design contests, it’s a hot topic in the design community. Most designers frown upon these online design contest sites where designers compete against each other designing logos, ads and Web sites for the chance to win a few hundred bucks. For the record, I have no problem with these design contests. It sharpens your skills and provides the opportunity to earn some extra cash in these tough times. If you’re willing to put in the work for a chance at winning a small fee, so be it. In my opinion, it’s not only not worth the money, but it really belittles the skills of designers everywhere. We’re not talking about spec-work for a potential big client. No, this is just some stranger on the Web looking for the cheapest, fastest work – basically preying on junior designers. But the other day, I came across a site that made my stomach turn. No, it’s not yet another design contest site like 99Designs, it’s much worse. Logo-Instant offers anyone and everyone FREE logos. That’s right, absolutely free. I have no idea who is designing these Web 2.0-style logos, but they should be taken out back and beat about the head, neck and shoulders with their keyboard. While the logos currently available aren’t completely horrible, you have to wonder why anyone would want to use them. After all, you don’t have exclusive rights to the logo. Anyone in the world can download the Photoshop or EPS files provided on the site, customize the name and use the logo as they see fit. Not only that, but the logos I downloaded were all screen-resolution, suitable for Web use only. What does that say about the work we do as designers? It’s really sad that legit designers are forced to compete with these hacks who are willing to provide design services for what I can only assume is virtually nothing. It’s even more sad that people & companies are willing to accept these “stock” logos as part of their branding efforts. I really didn’t even want to link to these people, but I thought you should check it out and offer your thoughts in the comments.

Rant: Definition of beta, and other software development terms

There was a time, “back then,” when a piece of software that was in Beta meant that the application was feature complete, and the developer was simply releasing the software to a small group of users in order to fix any remaining bugs before releasing the app to the general public. Google changed all that a few years ago when it released GMail to the general public as a beta. To this day, it’s still a beta – even though there are millions of users. That being said, I thought it would be nice to take a look at the definition of some typical software development terms, and what they meant “back then,” and what they really mean “now.” Read on for the definitions. (more…)